Dianna Buchwalter

I fall on my knees in defeat, tired of the fight. Why does it have to be so hard, I cry out with all my might. Two steps forward and one step back seems to be the going rate. Where are you trying to get to, He asks. Don’t you know I’ll never allow you to be late? I have things I want to accomplish, I’m ready to begin. Your not ready for the task just yet my friend. Waiting can be so painful. It fills me with such strife. I know, He said, I waited for you to come to me for half your life. I’m working behind the scenes, good things are on the way. Will you trust me not just now but every day? Will I be enough for you when the answer is no? Will you move when I say go? You see, He said, I’m molding you into the person I created you to be. The process isn’t always easy but it’s placing your dependence on me. When you think the battle has been lost, I order my angels to hold you up. Spend some time with me, I AM the living w...

The clock read 5:36 a.m. I had four minutes until the dreadful sound of the alarm would go off.  Everything in me wanted to stay snuggled under the covers but there was work to be done. With one eye open and flashlight in hand, I made my way to my daughter’s room where I pried Mittens the elf out of her arms. I then gathered up Christopher, my son’s elf and stood there asking “what shenanigans can these crazy rascals get into this morning?” Thirty minutes later, I saw Ava peek from around the corner and ask me in a soft tone with slight lisp the same question she had for days “where’s Mittens?” Their scavenger hunt began as they ran from room to room with such anticipation of what they would find. Moments later I heard my most favorite sound on the planet. Both of my little ones chuckled as they discovered their bathroom covered in toilet paper and the two elves sitting ever so innocently on the towel rack. In the middle of that normal Thursday morning, after I mad...

A few days ago, there was a dense fog that laid like a blanket covering the grounds and filling the air. As I drove my children to school all I could make out were the yellow and white lines on the pavement and the taillights in front of me. Traffic slowed as most people used common sense and caution but we all continued to move forward. We trusted the road ahead was clear though the view wasn't. I've had many adventures on the asphalt. I've witnessed drivers swerve in other lanes and I've done the same. Red lights have been run and speed limits ignored. Yet, with all these scenarios, I continue to get behind the wheel. Why? 1) My job appreciates it when I show up to work and these old feet won't get me there. 2) I presume I will be safe and all will be well. Driving takes faith, as does everything else in life. Our lives can easily be compared to excursions on the highway. We can't foresee what tunnels, twists and turns lay ahead until we get there. In ...

Have you ever felt a passion deep within and just knew it came from above?  With a little persistence, patience and prayer you felt God would fulfill those desires. Have you watched those same dreams crash and burn when they didn’t come to fruition? For an entire year, I was sure God placed a yearning in my heart He intended to bring to pass. I had entry after entry in my journal of “coincidences” (which I don’t believe in) happen.  I heard from other trusted Christian friends on their opinion of the situation and it paralleled with mine. I earnestly fasted, prayed and read the word.  I had done everything I knew to do to make sure my feelings were aligned with God’s will and that I heard from Him and not just my own longings. But, I didn’t end up with what I prayed for.  How could I have been so wrong about something which felt so right? Reflecting back, it could have been either of the following: God used this particular circumstance to draw m...

Rain continued to fall from the heavens a few days ago. One day turned to two and then three. Horrific pictures were broadcast on television of people who had to evacuate the comfort of their homes due to an unwelcomed invader.  As of today, nineteen people have lost their lives from a natural resource that is beneficial and ironically needed for our survival-water.   Water is such a magnificent necessity. It quenches our thirst, cleanses our bodies and nourishes crops. It provides countless hours of free entertainment while we vacation at the beach.  However, the only way this water is favorable for us is when it’s in moderation and controlled. This same water that has many valuable uses is also powerful enough to destroy what we work all of our lives for, in an instant! “Mommy, God promised He wouldn’t destroy the earth with a flood ever again, so, why is it flooding?” is what my ten year old asked me as we watched the news together. I tried to explain ...

With all my recently found recipes on Pinterest, I was sure I needed a new set of pots and pans.  I had been in a funk and this would surely lift my spirits. I made my way to the cookware and stood in the middle of the aisle.  By all outward appearances, I must've looked like any other shopper.  Inside, however, a war had been waged for days in my psyche between God's truths and Satan's lies. "Oh no! Not again," I thought.  I had come to this store to escape those voices of deceit so why were they following me? As I looked around, I hoped I hadn't said what I thought out loud.  God knows I already felt half crazy but for someone else to think I was might do damage to my self esteem.  Not to mention, it would ruin my day should some friendly men in white coats come in to take me away.  I made my way to the car and sat there as I went over the lies that were clinging and clanging together and had threatened ...

The door of my heart was open to everyone but you. Freely giving pieces of myself until pain and emptiness grew. You, the One that could fill every hollow space. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll wait.” As my car careened you charged your angels to intervene. Thankful for a moment but I quickly forgot, it was you who saved me from that dark spot. You, the One who rescued me and gave me life. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll give her time.” Sunday mornings spent in bed from a late night that left me with an aching head. You, who whispered I love you anyway. I rejected again. Your response: “It doesn’t matter what you say.” Crying babies. Sleepless nights. Toxic relationships with too many fights. You, the One who makes all things new. I rejected again. Your response: “I’m not through.” Broken and lost, tired of running. I lifted my eyes to see You, the One most stunning. You, the living water who refreshes souls, lo...

A comb hadn’t touched his hair for days. Or so it seemed. It appeared he had been wearing the same clothes for weeks. As my car pulled closer, I glanced at this stranger who held a sign and I kept going.  My ten year old son said “Mom, he needs help.” I responded “I don’t have any money.” This event began a discussion with my son that has impacted not only him but me.  He went on to tell me that though we didn’t have money, we could still give him something.  Then he asked the question that caused my head to hang in shame and I was instantly convicted.  He asked “What would Jesus do?” In the book of Matthew, Jesus says that whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. (Matt. 25: 40-45) How many times have we prayed to be the hands and feet of Jesus and yet, when given an opportunity, we let it pass us by? This wander...

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." - Revelation 1:8 (NIV) I AM the Alpha. I AM the salt of the earth. I AM the salt in your tears. I AM in the beating of heavy rains. I AM in every beat of your heart. I AM the rock upon which you stand. I AM your shield from rocks thrown from your enemies. I AM in the swirling winds of the sea. I AM in every swirl of your fingerprints.  I AM with you in the silence. I AM with you in the noise. I AM pleased to see the fruit of your labor. I AM the fruit that gives you nourishment. I AM on the wings of soaring eagles. I AM the wings that shelter you from the storm. I AM with the soldier whose soles of their feet enter dangerous ground. I AM crying out for the lost souls to return to me. I AM the warmth from the sun on a summer's day. I AM the SON who died to give you life. I AM your first breath. I AM y...

There’s a monster in our house.  That’s right-a big, ferocious tickle monster that comes out daily.  He seems to make his way to both of my children, upon request. The laughter that echoes out of their mouths will light up a room with joy. How ridiculous would it be if I told my kids I couldn’t tickle them because when they move, they could bump their heads on something and get hurt? Pretty silly idea, right? So many intoxicating, playful times would be lost all for what could happen. Life is filled with great moments like that. The kind that bring delight and pleasure. Sometimes, their short lived and others last much longer than we expect.  But, with those, also come the trials and heartache.  As we age, we witness more blows so we come to expect the bad will always follow the good. As a result, even when things are going smoothly, we will hold our breath and wait for the other shoe to drop. Why do we let the good things in our lives be overshado...

Psalm 37:4 (NIV) Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart Birthday parties are hassle free and relaxing…said no parent ever!  For any of us who’ve had or will have to plan a child’s birthday party, it can be quite stressful. Once the day arrives and things run smoothly, we find a moment to exhale and enjoy the look on our child’s face as they beam with joy over a time celebrated just for them.  We watch with anticipation as they unwrap their presents and wait for the smile that appears followed by a thank you (hopefully). Why do we do this? Because we love our children and it brings us happiness to see theirs. My nine year old will be moving to double digits in a few short weeks and in preparation, I’ve asked him what he would like for his birthday.  Though I can’t afford everything on the list, I’m sure he will be quite pleased on his special day.  In addition to purchasing new video games and Pokémon...

The older I get, the more I seem to reflect on my childhood. One major milestone for me and I assume a lot of youth, was getting my drivers license. I was 15 and my first car was a blue Pontiac Grand-Am. I drove that car until the tires were bald. You couldn’t tell me anything at that age because I knew it all. Yep, I had all I needed in that 4 door car. What an accomplishment it was to have this new found independence and freedom. 15 was also a hard age. I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I was stubborn and far from God. I believed in Him but I wanted no part of living the Christian life. The Christian life was boring. I wanted fun and to make my own rules. As I was reading out of 1 Samuel this morning, I had to stop for a moment to ponder on David. A man after God’s own heart. David was the youngest in his family. A shepherd. Most know the story of how David killed the giant, Goliath, with a rock. Some think he was around the age of 15 (give or take a few years). David ki...

The past came knocking today, with nothing new to say; She told it to leave and yet there it stayed. It invaded her thoughts and held her captive within; Bringing visions and flashbacks of a life lived in sin. The trip down memory lane revealed a girl covered in shame; Saddened by her choices and haunted from outside voices. She remembered she was washed clean one glorious day when she grew tired of living life her way; In an instant He made her new, not by good works but just by asking Him to. So, she slammed the door and fell to her knees, thankful these were distant memories; For where she was and where she is, was a lifetime apart when she recalled she was His. The light broke through and a smile reappeared, as her future was calling and it was instantly clear; She wasn’t her past nor her mistakes, she was God's daughter and all sins He erased.

When we are single, making decisions can seem easier because we have the privilege to choose whatever we want. With the freedom also comes the burden of bearing the consequences, whether good or bad - alone or what seems to feel like we are alone. Let me explain further. When I was married, my ex-husband and I were a sounding board for each other. We compromised and rationalized and even if we did not agree on a certain matter, there was comfort in knowing we had one another’s back. I've been a single mom for the past three years, which has included hundreds of decisions. Though I often seek wise counsel, the weight can, at times, seem overwhelming. Several weeks ago, a curve ball hit. I was in a very comfortable place in my life when Wham! God called me out of it.  No warning. I found myself at a crossroads faced with two good choices that would not only affect me but my children and quite possibly the direction our lives would go. However, I knew that, as Lysa ...

“Do my eyes look Chinese?” is what my nine year old asked one Monday morning as he stumbled his way to the kitchen table. Before sitting down, he dimmed the overhead lights until his eyes were fully open. About that same time, my daughter made her way to the bathroom and said “don’t turn on the lights, I can’t see.” What an oxymoron that is. We all know light is needed for most of us to make our way around in the dark.  But for some of us, we have been in the pitch-black so long it’s all we know and what we’re use to. If we stay there, it will leave us blinded by the light and obscured to the truth of God’s plan for our lives. I was in that sunless, somber place for a while.  My later teens and early twenties were spent in the wrong places making poor decisions.  I remember being the life of the party when in reality there was no life inside me at all. I had heard the truth of Jesus and yet I chose to turn away from Him. Like I did, there are those, who reb...

Birds of a feather flock together. We’ve all heard the phrase and know the meaning. The saying has been around for ages and is still used.  Why? Because there’s truth in it. As far back as a young girl, I can remember my parents saying they didn’t want me hanging around certain people because they saw a change in my demeanor.  Of course, I didn’t notice anything different, but, then again, it’s more often people on the outside looking in that can give us a truth we don’t seem to recognize. Have you ever noticed people who pair off at office parties?  Or, the different cliques at school? There are groups from the drama team to detention regulars and everything in between.  Why does this happen? Because people want to be with like-minded people.  We want to enjoy things with company. Is there anything wrong with having people around us to share good times with? Absolutely not. Friends are vital.  The problem lies when what others are doing/saying...

She wears a smile to cover the pain from where a hand print use to lay for Behind walls is where anger lies. His eyes are glued to the screen as images are implanted that should not be seen for Behind walls is where secrets lye. A soldier stands on the front lines as he prepares to draw his gun and fight for Behind walls is where fear lies. The pressure to be thin has caused a teen to purge what they’ve consumed within for Behind walls is where low self-esteem lies. She's been asked on a date long after cancer took her mate but she's scared to say yes for Behind walls is where vulnerability lies. Self -control is lost as the glass is tossed for Behind walls is where addiction lies. Walls can keep enemies out but can also keep our worst enemy in-ourselves. There are none tall enough or thick enough to hide from the Lord God Almighty. Nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be k...

Within the next few days, many of us will participate in dying Easter eggs, egg hunts and eat a few Cadbury eggs.  While all of that is fun and great traditions, Easter has nothing to do with an egg.   I looked up the definition of holiday out of curiosity.  Merriam-Webster defines it as a special day of celebration: a day when most people do not have to work.  We view holidays as a free day away from the office. A time to overindulge on ham and the fixin's while surrounded by family. Those are all great as well, but, the reason we have a holiday, in this case, Easter, is because it is a holy day.   Most of us know the story of Jesus’ crucifixion and resurrection. It is the ONLY reason we celebrate.  If we aren’t careful, we can hear it so much, it impacts us less.  That’s why it’s important to know and remember the details, as best we can, of what happened on those few days that would change our fate, for those who believe. ...