Dianna Buchwalter

  I beckoned you to come near, but my way didn’t look like what you wanted.   The lights of the night drew you in, Pulling you into dark corners.   I waited.   You searched for acceptance   in people with empty promises and hollow souls.     You longed for love, not realizing it was mine you needed all along.   I waited.   You turned toward me in moments in need, in fear but each time, you pulled back thinking the distance was too great to cross.   I waited.   The end of your rope seemed to get longer.   Still, I waited.   Your choices led to pain. Things once whole began to fall apart.  What you held onto slipped through your hands.   I was there. I waited.   Then, gently, I opened your eyes to what you had been chasing And your heart to what had been chasing you all along.     And when you finally stopped running There I was,   exactly where I had always been. Waiting.  

  “Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life?”   Stevie Nicks wrote these lyrics in 1973. I have listened to Landslide more times than I can count, and each time it hits right in the gut. It’s a song about change. About fear, love, aging, and the quiet questions we all carry as life keeps moving forward.   As   I listened again recently, with the end of another year approaching, I found myself reflecting on the last twelve months. This has been a year! I’m not even sure what adjective fits best. Crazy maybe. Long. Unexpected.   Sometimes life throws so many curveballs at such an accelerated speed, all you can do is try to keep up so they don’t knock you down.   2025 has been filled with a plethora of lessons in love, humility , fear, doubt, grief, and joy. They didn’t all come easy. But then again, we were never promised easy.   In fa...

  In 1965, a broadcaster named Paul Harvey, debuted an infamous monologue entitled "If I Were the Devil."  Here are his words: “If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in darkness. I’d have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree — thee. So, I would set about however necessary to take over the United States.  “I’d subvert the churches first, and I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: ‘Do as you please.’ “To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince the children that man created God instead of the other way around. I’d confide that what’s bad is good and what’s good is square. And the old, I would teach to pray after me, ‘Our Father, which art in Washington ...’ “Then, I’d get organized, I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature ex...

"I'm a bad mom." I said to myself after I raised my voice for what seemed like the 75th time a few days ago. The lie that first visited me slowly threatened to become a permanent resident.  It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. Let me set the stage a little bit. My husband and I have five children together. We are a newly blended family discovering the difficulties of merging two households into one while also reaping the rewards of it. As with most children, ours will bicker over the most petty things. "She's staring at me." "He's being bossy." And on and on. On this particular day, after a few hours of being around one another, the kids needed a break and so did I. I retreated to my bathroom and the tears flowed. Question after question flooded  my mind. "Why is this so hard?" "Am I cut out for this?" "Will it ever get better?" I didn't get immediate answers to those questions...

  for Chad     In 2015, I wrote an article titled The Old Wooden Bench .  At the time, I was a single mom of two children. I discussed some of the hardships of being a single woman with a desire to be married. Please go back to my previous post and read it first so this makes more sense. The following article is an update of how life can change quicker than a snap of a finger when God rules your life and He says it’s time. My heart raced as my car inched closer to his driveway. “What if there’s no chemistry?” “What if we have nothing to talk about?” “Have I set myself up to be let down again?”  These are all questions that fumbled around in my mind as I prepared to meet my blind date on that scorching June day in 2015. What I didn’t know was that date would turn out to be the best one I’d ever had.  Hours seemed like minutes as we talked about life, children and goals for the future. When the hot summer sun gave way to the light of t...

There is an old wooden bench that sits in my back yard. A lot of use has come out of it. In fact, it used to be quite charming. It’s rotted now and the best use for it would be in a dump. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on it, alongside someone. Now, it’s falling apart board by board. If only I had a truck to haul it off, or better yet, if only I had a man in my life to rid it of its misery.  But, I don’t. Truth is, there’s many things around my house that could use repairing or tweaking. Many of which I’m not strong enough to tackle alone. Most times, life is so busy that I forget about what’s being neglected. I rush by the broken porch, the swing set that’s falling apart, and the old bench that’s caving in. But, w hen I’m stilled, all of the broken things seem to come into focus. The reality of my singleness seems to be magnified.  It makes me long for a husband.  Not to just fix things around the house, but for the companionship - Someone to tell ...

The door of my heart was open to everyone but you. Freely giving pieces of myself until pain and emptiness grew. You, the One that could fill every hollow space. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll wait.” As my car careened you charged your angels to intervene. Thankful for a moment but I quickly forgot, it was you who saved me from that dark spot. You, the One who rescued me and gave me life. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll give her time.” Sunday mornings spent in bed from a late night that left me with an aching head. You, who whispered I love you anyway. I rejected again. Your response: “It doesn’t matter what you say.” Crying babies. Sleepless nights. Toxic relationships with too many fights. You, the One who makes all things new. I rejected again. Your response: “I’m not through.” Broken and lost, tired of running. I lifted my eyes to see You, the One most stunning. You, the living water who refreshes souls, lo...

“Do my eyes look Chinese?” is what my nine year old asked one Monday morning as he stumbled his way to the kitchen table. Before sitting down, he dimmed the overhead lights until his eyes were fully open. About that same time, my daughter made her way to the bathroom and said “don’t turn on the lights, I can’t see.” What an oxymoron that is. We all know light is needed for most of us to make our way around in the dark.  But for some of us, we have been in the pitch-black so long it’s all we know and what we’re use to. If we stay there, it will leave us blinded by the light and obscured to the truth of God’s plan for our lives. I was in that sunless, somber place for a while.  My later teens and early twenties were spent in the wrong places making poor decisions.  I remember being the life of the party when in reality there was no life inside me at all. I had heard the truth of Jesus and yet I chose to turn away from Him. Like I did, there are those, who reb...

She wears a smile to cover the pain from where a hand print use to lay for Behind walls is where anger lies. His eyes are glued to the screen as images are implanted that should not be seen for Behind walls is where secrets lye. A soldier stands on the front lines as he prepares to draw his gun and fight for Behind walls is where fear lies. The pressure to be thin has caused a teen to purge what they’ve consumed within for Behind walls is where low self-esteem lies. She's been asked on a date long after cancer took her mate but she's scared to say yes for Behind walls is where vulnerability lies. Self -control is lost as the glass is tossed for Behind walls is where addiction lies. Walls can keep enemies out but can also keep our worst enemy in-ourselves. There are none tall enough or thick enough to hide from the Lord God Almighty. Nothing is hidden that will not become evident, nor anything secret that will not be k...

Once upon a time there was a beautiful, kind young girl who lived in a faraway land.  She lost her mother at a young age and was raised and adored by her father.  She led a happy life… until …the wicked step mother and step sisters entered the picture. The poor girl was then suddenly dealt a hard blow when her father died and she was left living as a servant to three horrid women.  Of course, most of us know I’m speaking of the timeless tale of Cinderella.  After taking my children to see the newest version of the Disney classic, I couldn’t help but let my mind wander a bit. Cindy had a hard life.  Both of her parents died while she was still young. She became a slave.  And, her best friends were rodents. The story took a twist when the prince, whom she didn’t know, caught up with her after he saw her swiftly riding a horse through the forest. Let’s stop there and read that last sentence again.  The prince caught up with her . S...