California Dreamin'

The itinerary was set, bags were packed and in one more wake-up, we would be west coast bound. Excitement filled the air as all the plans we made were finally coming to fruition. The only thing left to do was dream of the adventures we'd have in sunny California.

The Pacific Coast Highway had gorgeous scenery and the beaches did not disappoint. But, as we were strolling down the walk of fame, my husband, who is able to endure a significant amount of pain, was suddenly unable to. The views quickly changed from palm trees to blank white walls as the hospital admitted him with a blood clot in his abdomen. The California dreamin' we previously had now seemed to be a California nightmare. 

Several days later, the kids and I packed up to go home but we did so without my husband as it wasn't safe for him to be released. I don't remember any of it really hitting home until I was sitting in the middle of the chaotic airport with the kids beside me and 50 other strangers. Tears fell. "How can I leave my husband by himself?" I thought. My mind went on overdrive as I continued to ask myself question after question: Who can watch the kids so I can fly back out to be with him? Will my job let me have time off? Is he going to die?

There were many long days that followed. Anxious thoughts and moments of uncertainty came and went.

Fast forward to the present, almost two months later. I received the answers to the questions I had. 

I asked: "How can I leave my husband by himself?" God said: "He's not alone for I am with him."

"Who can watch the kids so I can fly back out to be with him?" God said: "You won't need anyone to because he will be home just a few days after you."

"Will my job let me have more time off?" God answered: "You won't need it."

"Is my husband going to die?" God said: "Only when he has completed the tasks I have for him and today isn't that day."

Making plans is good and often necessary but sometimes they give us a false sense of security by allowing us to think we are in control. Many are the plans in the mind of a man but it is the purpose of the LORD that will be established. (Proverbs 19:21) We don't and may never know the reason he developed a blood clot. But what we do know is God spared his life. We don't know why this all happened 3,000 miles away from home but we were able to witness countless people help and stand in the gap to pray. We don't know if this clot will eventually go away but each day we are given, we're reminded of the goodness and faithfulness of our God.

Life doesn't always go as planned. Cancer isn't cured. Divorce darkens our doorstep. Bankruptcy is the only way out. Bad things happen whether its a result of our own choices or not. What we can take comfort in is knowing God is ALWAYS in control. That all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.(Romans 8:28) So, if/when your skies should turn gray, wait for the Son to appear whether you are close to home or thousands of miles away.