Thursday, November 17, 2016
In The Fire
"Take me with you," I whispered to my husband as he departed for a business trip a few days ago. Part of me was excited for him and the other part envious. I was jealous he got to venture to a new country, even though it was work related. "He's going to try new foods and see sites I never have while I look at the same four walls, listen to children bicker and figure out what to make for dinner again," I shamefully thought.
Let me rewind just a bit. My husband and I have been married a little over 3 months. 4 months ago I had a picture in my head of what our lives would look like. Visions of fields of wild flowers colored my imagination as we gleefully ran into the sunset. I guess a lifetime of Hallmark and Disney movies helped prompt those daydreams. But, real life has a way of waking us up very quickly. As soon as we married, the storms began to hit. So much so it seems all areas of our lives have been tested. From appliances repeatedly breaking to kid troubles to drama from exes to identity crisises. There are times we'll look at one another and jokingly say "we made it through another one" and times we'll tearfully say "how much more can we take."
Which brings me to this current business trip he is on. We'd been praying about it for weeks since we knew he was going to be leaving. Asking God to help things run smoothly but it's been anything but. One child got sick, followed by the second and then a third. Our microwave caught fire and we've been living out of a cooler for a month since our refrigerator's been broken. I went to pick up a sick kid from school and my car wouldn't start. And, as I type this, we still have two more days to go until he gets back home. This isn't a woe is me pity party or at least that's not my intention. What I want to convey are the lessons God is teaching me in a class I like to call - In The Fire 101.
This class is one we've all had at some point or another. Let me explain. Most of our days are spent around the campfire, so to speak. We're surrounded by family and friends. There's always some heat in the middle, also known as problems, but we tackle them and sit back down with our marshmallows until the heat gets too hot. Every so often, that fire starts to burn out of control when we are faced with too many issues all at once. We feel alone, swarmed by flames and smoke that threaten to spontaneously combust us. We learn at an early age to stop, drop and roll in a fire. However, God is teaching me to Stop, Drop and Grow.
What it seems I am constantly learning is to:
Stop filling my calendar with activities that I don't make time for Him.
Stop fixating on myself and my problems.
Stop thinking I am in control.
Instead...
Drop to my knees and bask in God's presence.
Drop my selfishness and gaze on God. Then, help others.
Drop my pride and pick up the humility of knowing His plans are perfect no matter how much they hurt.
By doing these things, the Lord allows us to grow in our maturity and walk with Him. As we do so, we are able to brace ourselves in the blaze. We become stronger and so do our marriages. The relief comes when we realize God is with us in the fire just like He was with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego who stood untouched by the heat in the fiery furnace. Jesus Christ is our balm when the sparks have grazed our skin. He breathes life and pieces us back together when all we feel is left are ashes.
No, life normally doesn't go as planned. This side of Heaven will always produce pain. But look around. Who has he placed beside you to help alleviate it? He's given me the greatest gift and answered prayer who is my husband. One thing I have quickly learned in our short marriage is it is far better to suffer with someone than to suffer alone.
A side note-God not only wants His children to come to Him when we are standing in the inferno but he wants a relationship all the time. Let us remember that the next time we are sitting around the campfire enjoying the warmth and telling stories. Hmm...I can't help but wonder if God likes marshmallows.?
Father in Heaven,
Thank you for the trials you send my way to keep me humble and constantly reaching for your hand. Help me to withstand them so I grow closer to you and more like you. Thank you for the smooth days that allow me to exhale and remind me of all I have to be grateful for. Thank you for the people you have sent to walk alongside me through life. Help me never to take them for granted. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Thursday, October 27, 2016
Paralyzed by Busyness
The clock read 8:45 a.m. By then, the kids were dressed, had eaten breakfast and been taken to school. Two loads of laundry were done, Bible read, prayers sent and the grocery list written. I glanced at the empty coffee mug and knew I needed a double dose of Joe and Jesus. The bags under my eyes and frown upon my face were a telltale sign I needed to stop and slow down.
I'm not good at slow. It means I have more time to focus on all I need to be doing but it also points out what I've been ignoring. Busy work is unavoidable. We check off our to do's and before we know it, the day has slipped away from us. Doing so makes it easy to drown out God's whispers. For weeks I'd had the same prayer: "Lord, help me balance my time wisely so I can keep up with housework and homework and still do what I love-write."
I like keeping a tidy house. I enjoy making hot meals for my family (especially when they eat them) but to sit quietly before God as the pen flows on paper revitalizes me and brings a sense of fulfillment that can't be matched. To make time for something that brings gratification seems like it would be a no-brainer. Just add it on the calendar. However, oftentimes, I will put it on the back burner. Pretty soon that hot passion within will turn cold and leaves me with feelings of disappointment and dissatisfaction.
Busy isn't bad unless it constantly overshadows what God want wants to do in and through us. I'm not saying He doesn't want us to cook and clean. One of the greatest ways to show our family Christ in the flesh is to serve them through these acts of love. But, when we have certain desires within, burdens that keep us up at night, messages to share through communicating the gospel then it is not enough to simply ask God for more time to accomplish these. Proverbs 14:23 says all hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads to poverty. We must be prepared to put in work to get it done and not let ourselves be paralyzed by busyness.
The routine, day in and day out schedules, though chaotic, are often easier because their familiar. It's the action steps we take behind our knee deep in tears prayers that are often hard and uncomfortable. We'll tell ourselves "someday I will pursue that dream." "I don't have enough time right now." "I'm not good/smart/young enough." Whatever excuse you can think of, I've said it. I've talked myself out of quitting numerous things and regret most of them. The tasks the Lord gives me that I continue to strive for are the ones I'm proud of. Whether they take 5 weeks or 5 years.
Those who have accepted Christ as their personal savior, have the power of the Holy Spirit burning inside of them. He has placed fires of desire in us and I believe He takes great delight when His children actively pursue Him so He can ignite those. Whether you are a nine to five employee who wants to stay at home with your little ones. Or, you stay at home but volunteer for so many things and you simply need a time of rest. Maybe you want to take a few classes or start your own business. Whatever it is, God is with you. It doesn't mean you won't stumble, but, if we don't become weary in doing good, we will reap a harvest if we don't give up. (Galatians 6:9)
Action steps:
Take time to learn about this man we call Jesus and ask Him to reveal Himself to you. Talk to Him in prayer and when you do, allow every insecurity, fear, hurt, longing and dream to pour out. Ask Him to help you manage your time to be able to pursue all He has for you boldly.
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
When Life Doesn't Go as Planned
We eagerly sat down with buttered popcorn in one hand and a ginormous Diet Coke in the other. Those first three minutes in the theater were wonderful. Plush seats, junk food and loud surround sound was the perfect entertainment for a Friday night. By minute four, a series of questions were ushered in. "Mommy, what's that man doing in the movie?" "Can I have more snacks?" "May I go to the bathroom?" All these questions were nestled between food that was spilled on the floor and kids that got up and down out of their seat. On top of all this, the long awaited movie could've waited until its debut at Redbox.
I chuckle as I think about one of our first movie outings as a family, but, isn't this how real life goes? We have a picture perfect vision of how our lives end up.We predict which college we'll attend, job we'll take, person we'll marry and children we'll have. Most of us are filled with anticipation until our things don't turn out how we expect them to. Such as:
The highschool senior who talks of the grand career they want to have but other choices take them down a difficult road that makes college appear as a far fetched idea.
The college graduate whose forked out enough money, blood, sweat and tears to earn their diplomas only to be rejected by every company they apply for.
The single whose one desire is to be married but has been in the dating scene so long their fairly certain their upcoming Saturday night date is with someone they already went out with last year.
The couple who have been to an infertility doctor so many times their wondering if they should have their own room there. Or, the mom and dad who once held a child in their arms have to open those same arms to bury their son or daughter.
How do we remain hopeful when all our dreams and aspirations seem to crumble at our feet?
This reminds me of Paul in the Bible. Paul, who walked a path of religious extremism and wanted to eradicate Christians, was one day suddenly converted. Paul was a chosen instrument and preached the good news on many missions. He also wrote many books in the New Testament. He suffered, was imprisoned and evidence suggests was martyred for his faith. In 2 Corinthians 11:24-27 Paul writes: "Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm." He goes on to say that he was given a thorn in his flesh and he begged God to take it away but the Lord said "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." Then Paul was glad to boast about his weaknesses, so that the power of Christ could work through him. (2 Corinthians 12:9)
If anyone faced hardships, Paul did. Can you imagine the joy on his face when he set out to sea and the devastation when the ship wrecked? Or the elation he felt when telling others of Jesus and the isolation when he was imprisoned alone? But, instead of giving up and falling into despair, he seized every opportunity to witness and encourage. "We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trails, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment." (Romans 5: 2-5)
No matter who we are, how much education we have or money in our account, there is one thing we can bank on. Life will throw curve balls. It can have us soaring one minute and knock us to our knees the next. When our design for life's course derails, we must place our hope in the Lord. To trust every detour will bring us to a better place. That every shattered dream and ache in our heart will be used for God's greater glory. And that when we take our eyes off our circumstances and place them on Him, He will bring clarity to confusion and peace in the midst of pain.
Father in Heaven,
We thank you that though we can make our plans, you determine our steps. You lead us beside still waters. You renew our strength and guide us along right paths. Forgive us when we doubt you. Help us to trust in your good and perfect will for us knowing that you can see the entire picture when we cannot. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Monday, September 12, 2016
Parenting: Sunny Skies or Smog of Stress?
"I'm a bad mom." I said to myself after I raised my voice for what seemed like the 75th time a few days ago. The lie that first visited me slowly threatened to become a permanent resident. It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last.
Let me set the stage a little bit.
My husband and I have five children together. We are a newly blended family discovering the difficulties of merging two households into one while also reaping the rewards of it. As with most children, ours will bicker over the most petty things. "She's staring at me." "He's being bossy." And on and on.
On this particular day, after a few hours of being around one another, the kids needed a break and so did I. I retreated to my bathroom and the tears flowed. Question after question flooded my mind. "Why is this so hard?" "Am I cut out for this?" "Will it ever get better?"
I didn't get immediate answers to those questions so I just had to rest knowing God was right there with me.
Parenting is one of the most daunting jobs on the planet. We discipline our kids only to watch them repeat the same mistakes again and again. We'll instruct them on the way they should go and become disappointed when they veer in the opposite direction. We'll shower them with love and weep over disrespectful attitudes as they pull away with every year that passes.
With different ages come different stages. Lifting toddlers can be a back breaking task. The tempermental teenage years are emotionally exhausting. And, I'm told that even as our children become adults, we will worry about them just the same.
There's no doubt children are a gift from God. He's entrusted us with caring for another life. With the gift also comes the greatest responsibility. We are told to train them in the way they should go and bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Prov. 22:6; Ephesians 6:4) It sounds easy when we read it but doing it is anything but. Like us, children are born with their own sinful nature. They will love us and test us. Follow us and rebel. Come to think of it, isn't this what we do with our Father in heaven?
Very often I wonder if I have the energy to do this parenting thing another day. Between the cooking and cleaning, homework, taxi driving, pep talks and being a referee...It's draining. No, parenting isn't always sunny skies. In fact, there are many days when the smog of stress will overcast the joy. When we want to pull the covers over our head and pray the day away.
But, just when I think I am at the end of my rope, God beckons for me to be still with Him. It's then He reminds me that He's placed me here, for such a time as this. That I can lead these children because He is leading me. He alone is my strength and portion and He knows how I feel because He has children of his own.
As these truths are whispered in my heart, the doubts and anxieties begin to weaken and I thank God for another day. For the miracle and wonder of children. For giving me the opportunity to be a mom.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for life and for the lives of all my children. Please help me to have patience, strength and guidance as I lead them. Help me to always point them to you. Forgive me when I lose my cool or doubt your plan for our lives. I ask you to surround me with people who can encourage and uplift and help me to be that person for someone else. In Jesus' name, Amen.
Tuesday, August 23, 2016
The New Normal
The same question plagues again: "God, what do you want me to do?"
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
The Comfy Brown Couch
A less stressful job.
The Old Wooden Bench
Do you believe God loves you so much He wants His absolute best for you?
In what ways can you be of use for the kingdom during your season of singleness?
Thursday, March 24, 2016
Goodbye, Muffin Top!
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7
There it was, this small, square, thin plate of glass staring at me on the bathroom floor. The scale and I have a love/hate relationship. Its powers do more than display my weight. Depending on what numbers pop up, that scale can solicit a smile or cause my shoulders to slump faster than a cheetah chasing its prey.
The pressure to be thin seems to start at an early age and has only intensified through modern technology. Social media, magazines and television brainwash us into thinking that beauty comes in the measurements of 36, 24, 36. We size ourselves up to airbrushed models or our thin best friend only to let discouragement and discontentment set in when we feel we cannot compare.
If we place more emphasis on our exterior rather than what God looks at, our confidence will come from the wrong source and will constantly change, like the numbers on a scale. But, if we are able to take our insecurities to the Lord, He will be our confidence. To keep our eyes on Christ will train our brains to think of ourselves the way He does-Wonderfully made. Set apart. Chosen. We can walk with certainty and self-assurance because of the One who lives inside us.
When the prophet Samuel searched for the next king of Israel, he was impressed with Jesse's son, Eliab. However, we read in our key verse the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Of course we read on to find that it was David, a young shepherd boy, who not only defeated Goliath the giant, but who God raised up as king, not Eliab.
David didn't stand in front of a mirror and say I'm too small to slay a giant. He didn't look at his brothers and think they were more masculine and better fit to do the job. He boldly stepped up in the name of the Lord Almighty because he knew God was with him!
When we show compassion, remain humble, have gratitude and spread love we cultivate the gentle, gracious kind of inner beauty that God delights in.
It's fine to want a nice appearance and exercise is good for the body. Goodbye, Muffin Top! Our bodies are our temples and we should take care of them. However, we shouldn't allow size and/or comparison to dictate our self worth or our mood. We are handcrafted, custom designed and one-of-a-kind. We should think of ourselves as nothing less.
Prayer
Father, you are perfect in all of your ways. You created me in your image and have made no mistakes in doing so. When self-doubt threatens to consume me, turn my gaze from the mirror and onto you. In Jesus' name, amen.
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Chasing Butterflies
Reflect:
How many times have you chased someone or something in hopes of finding happiness only to be left with unmet expectations?
Have you asked God to take over your life so you can experience perpetual joy?
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
One Day Closer
![](https://diannaowens.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/bubba.jpg)
This post was written in 2015. Though it is a year old, it still rings true and always will. Happy Birthday in Heaven, Bubba!
One of the most miserable, agonizing feelings is the separation from a loved one.
In 2014, I was 7,000 miles away from my children and was only able to talk to them once in eleven days. On the day I arrived home from my trip, I couldn’t put my arms around them fast enough! Though it seemed it had been an eternity, once I held them, it was as if no time had passed. I went from glum to glee immediately.
Today, my brother would’ve blown out 34 birthday candles. I wonder how he would’ve turned out. If the girls would still be chasing him or would he have settled down. I imagine my children jumping all over him and laughing as he was doing one of his famous impersonations.
It’s been almost 11 years since he passed and there is still a pang in my heart. Remembering him is bitter sweet for thinking of happy times spent together is followed by the ache of his absence. Birthdays, holidays and anniversaries often trigger the pain of loved ones who are gone. Days like today forces me to look at my own mortality. Death is just a part of life. It’s avoided in everyday conversation yet the Bible says our lives are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. (James 4:14)
What do these two different circumstances have in common? The sorrow is temporary. For those who believe in the death and resurrection of Christ, we look at each day that passes as one day closer to being in our eternal home-with Jesus. We know there are better
things waiting for us that will last forever. (Hebrews 10:32)
As I reflect on the past with fond memories, I anticipate even greater ones to come. I envision colors no eye has seen. Water as clear as crystal. Thousands upon thousands of angels singing in harmony to our King on the throne. A place free of war. Famine. Natural disasters. Murderers. Disease. Where every tear will be wiped from our eyes. (Revelation 21:4) Where we won’t need the light of a lamp for the Lord God will be all the light we need. (Rev. 22:5)
Oh, How I long to be home. Can you picture it?
For those who have loved ones now departed, time may ease the pain but it doesn’t make you miss them less. It’s okay to still have sad days. Weeping may last through the night but joy comes in the morning. (Ps. 30:5) Fix your eyes on the Father and dwell not in the temporary. And, when the longing for our loved one seems to be unbearable, just know a reunion is in the works…until then, let’s get our party hats ready to celebrate.