It’s two days before Christmas, and the house is currently empty, so I took advantage of the quiet moments and began reading Be Safe, Love Mom this morning. The book is written by a mom of four whose children serve in different U.S. military branches. It was a recommended read by a mom who has long been on this journey that we are soon approaching.
From an early age, I knew my son wouldn’t go down the college route. Jeremy despised school. There were many parent-teacher conferences in those early years, and most teachers commented that Jeremy was too impulsive, un-focused, and disruptive to the class but had a heart of gold. I remember saying, “if I can just get him to graduate high school.” That’s how those thoughts ended for me, as I wasn’t sure what would come next for him. There wasn’t an urgency to have anything figured out back then, as time was on our side. As he matured, his character proved to be one I am very proud of. We often talked about the military as he grew, and I felt he would do well in that, but I couldn’t give much advice as I had never been a part of a military family. In 2016, I married a man who served twelve years in the Air Force. My husband, Chad, has helped guide Jeremy much better than I could regarding enlisting and everything related to that way of life. I am so thankful for the example Chad has set for him. By Jeremy’s junior year, when asked, “what do you want to do after high school?” the answer has consistently been to join the Armed Forces.
Parenting includes so many moments of continually releasing our children, little by little, until one day you wake up and it’s their senior year. And here we are… 6 months before he graduates high school. He will swear into the United States Navy next month and head to boot camp this July. I have six months left with him before life as we know it will change. All the years of teaching, correcting, disciplining, and praying led to where we are right now. He will step into unknown territory just as all kids do when they leave the nest. There are so many life lessons that happen in that transition. More than just living independently, this will be a new way of life for him. He will learn leadership skills, the importance of teamwork, and what words like honor, service, and country genuinely mean. And it will be a new way of life at home and figuring out what comes next.
As I flipped through the book I was reading, I stumbled upon a receipt from August 2015, when it was originally purchased. My mind drifted to who this person was, and I somehow felt strangely connected to them. I recently joined a few Facebook groups for military moms and realized I am not alone. I think of the hundreds of thousands of children who have joined the service to leave their families and the comforts of home behind. I think of the moms who have stood proud as they wave their children goodbye, only to shed tears in their empty bedrooms. I think of graduation day and seeing him in his uniform for the first time. Becoming a military mom has simultaneously ignited feelings of pride, worry, fear, excitement, and sadness. I’m proud he wants to serve his country and worry over the what if’s that haven’t even happened. I’m excited for his future but sad this chapter is ending.
If I’m not careful, I can let the grief of letting go and the worry over the future consume me, which doesn’t change circumstances or help anything. Or I can look at it from another perspective. In all His goodness, the Lord gifted me with my son, whom He loves far more than I can imagine. Yes, he is my earthly son, but Jeremy belongs to God as all His children do. He has written my son’s story and, thankfully, is in complete control over every facet of his life. I must trust that God's grip will remain as I release my grip to let him spread his wings.
I guess it turns out that Jeremy isn't the only one with much to learn, as I am learning how to rely on God through this season of change. I am sure no one can better understand than the One who gave his only Son for us all.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2 (NIV)
Have you ever heard the expression “when God closes a door, He opens a window?” It’s simply saying that God can position us in such a way, whether through approval or rejection, that brings about the results He wants for us.
I remember a time when I was in a very comfortable place in life. No sooner than I got there that another opportunity presented itself. What was different about this situation was I found myself at a crossroads faced with two good choices. Ever been there?
It would have been much easier if there was a clear direction I was to take. So, what happens if both windows are open at the same time?
Indecisiveness camped out and I found myself restless. As I did everything I knew to do: prayed without ceasing, read the Bible, made a pros and cons list and consulted wise counsel, it dawned on me that even though I did all the checklist items, I was in my own way. I hadn't let HIM do the work in me.
Our goal, as Christians, is to become more like Christ. This is so often a process that happens over time, unveiled by peeling back layer after layer. Every circumstance we go through will hopefully be a teaching lesson to mature us so we can discern what is best. So, I asked the Lord what He wanted me to learn from this. As I did, He began to sift ugly things out of me. Things like selfishness and worry. He was also teaching me to lean on and seek Him as I sought the answer.
Though we may question, doubt and struggle to find the right answers, He is there through all of it. As long as we are thinking biblically and living obediently, we are in the will of God. He is sovereign and He is more than capable of using any and every situation, decision we make or person we encounter to fulfill His perfect plan for our lives.
Prayer Father, thank you for the freedom of choice and opportunities you have given me. I don’t want to be anywhere or do anything that is outside of your will. I ask for wisdom and clarity as I seek You. I trust that no matter what, you will get me exactly where I am supposed to be. In Jesus’ name, amen.
“Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:25 (CSB)
The door opened at 14,000 feet! With someone strapped onto my back, I prepared to plunge to my death. Or, so I thought. Tears streamed down my cheeks as we inched our way to the door. “NO!" I screamed. There was no way I could jump out of that plane. One step is all it would take but I clung to the door until my knuckles were white. Apparently, the skydiving instructor thought I said go instead of no and suddenly we were free falling at a rate of 120 mph! I had difficulty breathing and I was sure I'd be in the arms of Jesus in less than 5 minutes.
After what seemed like 5 hours of plummeting, a single cord was pulled and a bright colored umbrella sprouted out above us. We sailed through the sky and in that moment I was able to take in the magnificent beauty that was all around. Once my feet hit the ground, a wave of accomplishment washed over me. "I did it. I conquered my fear!" I yelled and laughed with excitement at the same time.
I don't ever desire to jump out of a plane again but I'm glad I had enough boldness to conquer that fear. I'm even more happy that the instructor knew what he was doing and that God spared our lives.
We are faced with choices daily. A lot of them are insignificant, such as what kind of cereal to eat for breakfast or shirt to wear to the office. It's the crucial decisions that can stop us dead in our tracks and leave us with a lot of should’ve, could’ve, would’ves. I should’ve taken the job offer. I could’ve gone back to school. If only I would’ve written that book or (fill in the blank). Many of us want to take chances and chase dreams but we fear the unknown.
Here's a spoiler alert: we will all make what we feel is the wrong choice at some point. But, followers of Jesus can take comfort in knowing that the Lord will fulfill his promises for us. (Ps. 138:8) He created each of us with gifts, strengths and weaknesses that He uses in His plan to build His kingdom. As we daily strive to walk in obedience to El Shaddai (God Almighty), He will get us where He wants us to be. Much like the tandem skydiving instructor who knows when to pull the parachute out and guide us to our destination.
Reflect What fear(s) hold you back from making a big decision? How might God use the choice you make to ultimately have more of an eternal impact?
Meet Christopher, the elf. He's eleven years old, but in elf years, more like 60. He hibernates 11 months out of the year, loves to ride on ceiling fans and can be quite mischievous at night. Or, at least he used to be. Christopher was adopted by our family when my son was five years old. An immediate friendship was born between the two of them. The elf went everywhere my son went. Each year, when Christmastime was over, Christopher would have to say goodbye and when he did, left a sad little boy behind.
A few years later, Mittens, the girl elf, was adopted by my daughter. Later, the tiny elf, Bob, Jr joined the family. For many years, this was one of my most favorite traditions at Christmastime. I couldn't wait to see the kids reactions when they arose each morning to see what those silly elves had gotten themselves into!
Fast forward a couple of years. My 16 year old son is now juggling school, work and a social life. Gone are the days of make believe where elves bathe in marshmallows. Oh, how I wish time could be stored in a bottle, as I'm sure most of us do. There was even a song written about it many years ago (thank you, Jim Croce). The more time passes, the more old practices are harder to continue. For instance, out of 42 Thanksgivings I have been able to celebrate, around 40 of them were spent at my grandma's house. Except this past Thanksgiving. My Nana is 91 years old and though she would like to, she doesn't cook anymore. So, I decided it was time to start a new tradition. This year we hosted Thanksgiving at our home. I hope it will be the start of many more to come. It was different but turned out great! It dawned on me that the memories I had tied to previous Thanksgiving celebrations were mine and not my children's. I want them to have their own special memories to reflect back on.
As my son outgrew his sidekick, old traditions gave way to new ones. Things change. Children grow up. Families move. Change can be hard but it can also be refreshing if we have the right perspective.
Wherever we may find ourselves this Christmas, whether driving around to look at lights or we're in unfamiliar territory, let us not lose sight of why we celebrate. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, entered this dark world to be the light everyone of us need. HE is the reason we sing "Joy to the World" and "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" year after year. Those traditional songs that never get old and never change. As HE never changes. Praise God!
Back to the elf. Christopher has lost an eye and has a terrible skin condition now but he still comes around. A few days ago, I helped him sit in a common area in the house because I didn't know if the poor thing would be able to make it. However, today I wandered into my son's room while he was at school and noticed Christopher was there. I didn't help him get in there. The only thing I can figure is that maybe we don't outgrow everything, no matter how old we are. Turns out this may be a tradition with no expiration date and that makes this mama's heart happy!
In 1965, a broadcaster named Paul Harvey, debuted an infamous monologue entitled "If I Were the Devil." Here are his words:
“If I were the prince of darkness, I would want to engulf the whole world in darkness. I’d have a third of its real estate and four-fifths of its population, but I would not be happy until I had seized the ripest apple on the tree — thee. So, I would set about however necessary to take over the United States.
“I’d subvert the churches first, and I would begin with a campaign of whispers. With the wisdom of a serpent, I would whisper to you as I whispered to Eve: ‘Do as you please.’
“To the young, I would whisper that the Bible is a myth. I would convince the children that man created God instead of the other way around. I’d confide that what’s bad is good and what’s good is square. And the old, I would teach to pray after me, ‘Our Father, which art in Washington ...’
“Then, I’d get organized, I’d educate authors in how to make lurid literature exciting so that anything else would appear dull and uninteresting. I’d peddle narcotics to whom I could. I’d sell alcohol to ladies and gentlemen of distinction. I’d tranquilize the rest with pills.
“If I were the devil, I’d soon have families at war with themselves, churches at war with themselves and nations at war with themselves until each, in its turn, was consumed. And with promises of higher ratings, I’d have mesmerizing media fanning the flames.
“If I were the devil, I would encourage schools to refine young intellect but neglect to discipline emotions. I’d tell teachers to let those students run wild. And before you knew it, you’d have drug-sniffing dogs and metal detectors at every schoolhouse door.
With a decade, I’d have prisons overflowing and judges promoting pornography. Soon, I would evict God from the courthouse and the schoolhouse and then from the houses of Congress.
In his own churches, I would substitute psychology for religion and deify science. I’d lure priests and pastors into misusing boys and girls and church money.
“If I were the devil, I’d take from those who have and give to those who wanted until I had killed the incentive of the ambitious. What’ll you bet I couldn’t get whole states to promote gambling as the way to get rich?
“I’d convince the young that marriage is old-fashioned, that swinging is more fun and that what you see on television is the way to be. And thus, I could undress you in public and lure you into bed with diseases for which there are no cures.
“In other words, if I were the devil, I’d just keep right on doing what he’s doing.”
This was written over 50 years ago but seems like it could've been yesterday. Our entire world seems to have shifted in a downward spiral at warp speed. In fact, the last two years feel like a horror movie that is being played on a repeated loop. There are a lot of questions with not as many answers. When does the nightmare of Covid, Democrat v. Republican, black v. white, persecution, civil unrest and natural disasters end? What are we to do when we feel our freedoms are being stripped away? When our leaders create division that's ripping our country apart?
For those who are followers of Christ, our citizenship is in Heaven and as such, we are to live our lives worthy of the gospel of Christ. (Philippians 1:27) We know to obey God's commandments. To love God and our neighbors as ourselves. (Matt.22:37-39) To forgive as the Lord forgives us. (Colossians 3:13) To renew our minds and not being conformed to this world. (Romans 12:2)
But, let's go a little further. It's no surprise to God that we are living in this exact moment in time. Not only has He allowed us to be a part of this unique time in history but could it be that He has called us for such a time as this? I think of the story of Esther in the Bible. A young, Jewish orphan that went on to not only become queen but was used by God to save the entire Jewish population from annihilation. God used an ordinary woman to execute an extraordinary act and it all happened because she was bold and courageous even in the face of death.
Okay, I'm guessing none of us are queens, but, we each have our own unique spheres of influence. What if each one us shared our faith and pointed others to the hope we have? What if we were fearless enough to stand against what the world calls normal? And what if we taught our children to do the same? Can you imagine the sense of defeat Satan would have every time we do that? If I were the devil, I would be threatened by such an army of God-loving, God-fearing people.
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