Dianna Buchwalter

“I need more sleep,” I said to myself as I begrudgingly got out of bed last Saturday morning. Two of our kids had a function that morning, another wanted to go to a festival, our pantry was screaming for more groceries, the youngest child wanted to go wherever I did, I promised to take the girls to the mall weeks prior and my husband and I had a meeting that same day followed by our date night. I had no quiet time with Jesus and coffee wasn’t cutting it. By noon, broken sleep plus a tight scheduled equaled exhaustion. My husband is a very active father and loves to help in whatever way is needed, but, sometimes, there’s a part of me that wants to be able to do it all. I want to be Superwoman and look like I have it all together. Chauffer the kids, clean the house, buy the groceries, work a full-time job and   try to look half-way presentable by throwing make-up on my face.   Because of our season of life and my need to control, I end up feeling more Supertired an...

The loud annoying sound blared in my ear. “It’s 5:50 already?” I asked myself. I felt 83 instead of 38 as my body snap, crackled and popped after a few steps were taken from the bed to the bathroom. I woke one child, followed by the next three, made breakfast, fed the dog, brewed coffee and paid a bill online. Then, I remembered I needed to shower. I breathed a sigh of relief as, one by one, the kids safely made their way from our front door to the bus stop. I poured my cup of joe and sat down to meet with Jesus. Shortly after I thanked Him for the day, my mind wandered to the other bill I forgot to pay and if I washed the conditioner out of my hair. Ever been there? Where the thought of a calm, peaceful day or morning is a memory you seem to recall but is a little fuzzy. I sat down on my chair at work where I flipped my daily encouragement calendar. I grinned as it read “Be still and know I am God.” A few moments later, the same verse appeared in an article I read. “Ok...

I saw a woman engulfed by the roaring waves of the ocean. Her arms frantically moved as her head bobbed in and out of the water. She gasped for breath and wanted nothing more than to be on shore. People swam out to rescue her as others stood on the sand waiting for her to be pulled in. In the people’s effort to help, they too were being pulled down and couldn’t reach her. The woman felt hopeless as she cried out to God. “God, why won’t you save me?” A few moments later a white life ring floated beside her. She grabbed it with every ounce of strength as she pulled her body through the hole. She heard God say: “Be still and know I am God.” At first, she wondered how she could be still when she was in the middle of this vast sea until she realized she didn’t have many options. There were no boats or life guards. Just her and God.  She laid her head back as a calmness swept over her. The very same waves that crashed on and almost swallowed her were the same ones that propelled ...

"Take me with you," I whispered to my husband as he departed for a business trip a few days ago. Part of me was excited for him and the other part envious. I was jealous he got to venture to a new country, even though it was work related. "He's going to try new foods and see sites I never have while I look at the same four walls, listen to children bicker and figure out what to make for dinner again," I shamefully thought. Let me rewind just a bit. My husband and I have been married a little over 3 months. 4 months ago I had a picture in my head of what our lives would look like. Visions of fields of wild flowers colored my imagination as we gleefully ran into the sunset. I guess a lifetime of Hallmark and Disney movies helped prompt those daydreams. But, real life has a way of waking us up very quickly. As soon as we married, the storms began to hit. So much so it seems all areas of our lives have been tested. From appliances repeatedly breaking to kid t...

The clock read 8:45 a.m. By then, the kids were dressed, had eaten breakfast and been taken to school. Two loads of laundry were done, Bible read, prayers sent and the grocery list written. I glanced at the empty coffee mug and knew I needed a double dose of Joe and Jesus. The bags under my eyes and frown upon my face were a telltale sign I needed to stop and slow down. I'm not good at slow. It means I have more time to focus on all I need to be doing but it also points out what I've been ignoring. Busy work is unavoidable. We check off our to do's and before we know it, the day has slipped away from us. Doing so makes it easy to drown out God's whispers. For weeks I'd had the same prayer: "Lord, help me balance my time wisely so I can keep up with housework and homework and still do what I love-write." I like keeping a tidy house. I enjoy making hot meals for my family (especially when they eat them) but to sit quietly before God as the pen flows ...

We eagerly sat down with buttered popcorn in one hand and a ginormous Diet Coke in the other. Those first three minutes in the theater were wonderful. Plush seats, junk food and loud surround sound was the perfect entertainment for a Friday night. By minute four, a series of questions were ushered in. "Mommy, what's that man doing in the movie?" "Can I have more snacks?" "May I go to the bathroom?" All these questions were nestled between food that was spilled on the floor and kids that got up and down out of their seat. On top of all this, the long awaited movie could've waited until its debut at Redbox. I chuckle as I think about one of our first movie outings as a family, but, isn't this how real life goes? We have a picture perfect vision of how our lives end up.We predict which college we'll attend, job we'll take, person we'll marry and children we'll have. Most of us are filled with anticipation until our things don...

"I'm a bad mom." I said to myself after I raised my voice for what seemed like the 75th time a few days ago. The lie that first visited me slowly threatened to become a permanent resident.  It wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. Let me set the stage a little bit. My husband and I have five children together. We are a newly blended family discovering the difficulties of merging two households into one while also reaping the rewards of it. As with most children, ours will bicker over the most petty things. "She's staring at me." "He's being bossy." And on and on. On this particular day, after a few hours of being around one another, the kids needed a break and so did I. I retreated to my bathroom and the tears flowed. Question after question flooded  my mind. "Why is this so hard?" "Am I cut out for this?" "Will it ever get better?" I didn't get immediate answers to those questions...