Growing Pains

The picture above is a present-day photo of my son,  Jeremy, who captured my heart 14 years ago.

The picture below is who I still see.  A toddler - my baby. A cute, orange haired bundle of joy who first gave me the name “Mom.”

In two weeks, he will be a freshman in high school. Deep breath. Gulp! I remember swaddling him. His first steps.  The look of amazement at his first trip to the movie theater. 

It’s hard to be prepared for your first child. We can read all the books, buy the best baby products and have the nursery decorated to a tee. But, when that child enters the world, everything changes. We’re scared and excited all at once.  And, somehow, with a little help from those who’ve already been there, prayer and guidance from our Heavenly Father, we eventually figure some of this parenting thing out.

Yesterday, after getting advice from a friend, I bought my son an alarm clock. I realize I’m probably behind on making him wake up on his own, but, it’s something I’ve always done. It’s been a part of my morning routine for 14 years. Some may not see the big deal in that purchase, but, for me, it’s one more step of independence. One more thing he doesn’t need me to do for him anymore. Us Moms (Dads too) begin to feel the sting when our children get too old to hold our hand. Elementary turns to middle school and at some point, we find out that we (parents) aren’t as cool as we once were to them. It’s a gradual fade but it happens faster than we think or like. It's so hard to let go when we've held on for so long.

What do we do when the growing pains hit us?

It seems to happen many times throughout our children's lives.  Regardless of what stage our kids are in, we have to know and trust God has them in the palm of his hand and he is the One in control. In him, all things hold together. (Colossians 1:17) We need not fear for God strengthens us, helps us and upholds us. (Isaiah 41:10). We can also take comfort if we train our children in the way they should go they won't depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) And, if they stray, know we are all sinners and all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Yet, He loves us just the same.

It's a few years away for us, but, the thought of crossing over into adulthood can be overwhelming. We, as parents, know what it brings with it. Their hearts will probably get broken. They'll make a bad choice or two. Question the direction of their lives. Maybe they’ll marry and have children of their own. Oh, how our minds can wander on the what if’s and future uncertainties.

For today though, my son is still 14. Not yet old enough to drive or date (thank goodness).  All I can do, or any parent can do is take it one step at a time. And, with a little help from those who've been there before, prayer, and guidance from our Heavenly Father, we will figure it out, again.

The Boxing Ring

The phrase “float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” was coined by Muhammad Ali. He is thought of as one of the greatest boxers of all time. Now I’m not much of a sports fan, but, boxing intrigues me. I’ve watched many matches through the cracks of my fingers as my hand covers my eyes. It’s strange how something so gruesome can be so appealing.

One punch seems hard to take and yet these fighters endure blow after blow. The bell dings and each person proceeds to separate corners. They both get a short reprieve as their trainer imparts wisdom, offers encouragement and cleans up wounds. The bell dings again and they are back at it. One of the most thrilling parts is watching someone who we think is completely done, rise up from the ground they once lay on, look at their opponent, and say with their eyes “oh, it’s on.”

Life can be so much like a boxing ring. A few months ago, our family faced one battle after another. After our faces met the fist a few times, instead of saying “oh, it’s on,” it was more like “oh, come on!” Ever been there? Where you start asking the question “Why?” “Why, God, are you punishing me?” “Why won’t the dark clouds part?” “Why do I have to keep facing such opposition?”

Each one of us will face our own trials or rounds I should say, for the sake of this blog. Some last briefly and others seem unending. We may bring these fights on ourselves and other times get sucker punched. Either way, what matters most is how we respond. It’s easier to give up when weary. It's harder to get back up and persevere.  But God, our ultimate trainer, urges us to. Whatever battle you have faced, are facing or will face is no surprise to God. He is always in our corner waiting for us to come to Him. He takes no pleasure in punishing but He does allow our circumstances to instruct and strengthen us. “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11.

The boxer doesn’t step into the ring for their first fight after one day of training. They’ve already gone through some agony to get where they are. They've prepared for the main event. It’s the same with us. Romans 5 tells us that that “suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” The difference is the boxer’s hope is in winning to receive recognition for himself. The Christian’s hope should be on nothing of this world, but rather in Jesus, to whom all glory and honor go.

So, the next time we find ourselves in the ring, may we take comfort in knowing we aren’t there alone. Just listen for the bell to ding and head towards the trainer.

Father in Heaven,
Thank you for being all knowing, all loving and always here, whether I feel it or not. Help me to fight the good fight and not give in to anything that displeases you or lose faith. Forgive me when I lose sight of you. In Jesus' name, Amen.