The Comfy Brown Couch

 

for Chad

 

 

In 2015, I wrote an article titled The Old Wooden Bench.  At the time, I was a single mom of two children. I discussed some of the hardships of being a single woman with a desire to be married. Please go back to my previous post and read it first so this makes more sense. The following article is an update of how life can change quicker than a snap of a finger when God rules your life and He says it’s time.

My heart raced as my car inched closer to his driveway. “What if there’s no chemistry?” “What if we have nothing to talk about?” “Have I set myself up to be let down again?”  These are all questions that fumbled around in my mind as I prepared to meet my blind date on that scorching June day in 2015.

What I didn’t know was that date would turn out to be the best one I’d ever had.  Hours seemed like minutes as we talked about life, children and goals for the future. When the hot summer sun gave way to the light of the moon and it was time to say good-bye, I knew I found someone special.

For several years prior, I cried out to God more times than I can count. I had the deepest desire for a companion.  One date after another always fell through and I asked myself what I was doing wrong. I questioned whether I would remain single for the rest of my life. There were times I felt God ignored me and times He spoke so loudly it was as if He were standing right next to me. Throughout all the highs and lows of those years, there was one thing I had no choice but to do. One thing the Lord constantly spoke. I needed to abide in Him and wait. My character was still being developed and my walk with God was still in infancy stage. 

Those who know me, know I’m not the most patient person around. I vividly remember getting off the bus the first week of kindergarten and crying to my mom because I had to stand in line for lunch. I didn’t like to wait then and it hasn’t gotten much better with age. Of course my creator knows this fact too and on many occasions has reminded me that He is just giving me what I prayed for-more patience.

Had I not gone through that time of learning how to trust and depend on the Lord, I wouldn’t be the person anyone was looking for and I wouldn’t be the wife I thought I was ready to be.

This past year has been such a magical, love story.  The blind date turned into a budding romance. Our relationship has been a natural progression from courtship to becoming exclusive to meeting each other’s children.  This has all transpired under the guidance of Jesus Christ. His hand has been at work the entire time and I continue to be grateful for this answered prayer.

A lot of women have that little girl that still lives inside her.  The one that longs for the fairy tale.  To meet her prince and live happily ever after. On Easter Sunday of 2016, that deep rooted dream became a reality when my boyfriend asked me to be his wife. Words can’t express the joy of knowing I will get to spend the rest of my days with the love of my life.

Does all this mean we haven’t hit a few bumps? Of course not. We have faced opposition and will continue to in some capacity.  It also doesn’t mean that when we are married all problems will fade away.  In fact, blending two families together will more than likely prove to be a challenge. However, our union will be one of strength and endurance and only because God, who is credited with crossing our paths, is our foundation.

We will always be in a season of waiting on something. It could be:

A mate.

Children.
A less stressful job.

A clean bill of health.

Lamentations 3:25 says: The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. We won’t always get what we want when we want it but God knows best what we need.  He rewards those who are faithful and His gifts will always be better than anything we could ask for or imagine.

The rotted wooden bench was restored and now shines from the front porch of my home. It symbolizes  what Jesus has done in my life. Funny thing is, my fiancé and I have never sat on that bench together.  We spend more time on his comfy brown couch and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Old Wooden Bench

There is an old wooden bench that sits in my back yard. A lot of use has come out of it. In fact, it used to be quite charming. It’s rotted now and the best use for it would be in a dump. It seems like just yesterday I was sitting on it, alongside someone. Now, it’s falling apart board by board.

If only I had a truck to haul it off, or better yet, if only I had a man in my life to rid it of its misery. But, I don’t.

Truth is, there’s many things around my house that could use repairing or tweaking. Many of which I’m not strong enough to tackle alone.

Most times, life is so busy that I forget about what’s being neglected. I rush by the broken porch, the swing set that’s falling apart, and the old bench that’s caving in. But, when I’m stilled, all of the broken things seem to come into focus. The reality of my singleness seems to be magnified. It makes me long for a husband. Not to just fix things around the house, but for the companionship - Someone to tell my innermost secrets to, and to sit on the bench with. Of course, if he wants, he can haul off the junk too.

There’s a deep desire in my heart-a desire that doesn't seem to go away.

During this season of singleness, my relationship with The Lord has grown by leaps and bounds. He has used this time to grow and mature me. Psalm 119:71 says, it was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees. For that reason alone, I wouldn’t trade my lonely nights or tear stained pillows.

I certainly won’t sugarcoat it. It’s not always easy, but, it’s always been worth it. He wants good for both my family and me. I know God has purpose for this season of waiting. He isn’t holding back the very thing I desire most because it’s fun for Him, He’s doing it because He loves me that much. He’s teaching me how to rely on Him for everything.

Singles hear over and over, “Quit looking and you’ll find it” or “God is still preparing you.” While this may be true, we still tire of hearing it. So, my point of writing this is to let whoever can relate know, you are not alone. The feelings you have are real and you're not a lesser Christian by desiring companionship while you walk with the Lord. It’s okay to cry out to The Father.

We are fooling ourselves if we think that a husband or wife can bring us every bit of happiness that we feel is lacking in our aloneness. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone, and, another person will never bring complete satisfaction. People will fail you. Sooner or later, that person who brings you flowers and makes your heart flutter will also be the one to hurt you or wrong you, not necessarily because they want to, but because they are human.

The Lord is our ultimate Companion. He wants to be the shoulders we lean on and the One who we tell our secrets to. He is the only One who can heal our loneliness. And, in addition to that, He wants to haul off our junk; our past, our failures, and our wounds. You can trust that God’s plans are bigger and better because "No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." (Ps. 84:11 ESV)

So, the next time you're looking for someone to sit on the bench beside you, remember this, He’s already there.

Reflect:
Do you believe God loves you so much He wants His absolute best for you?
In what ways can you be of use for the kingdom during your season of singleness?