Feelings vs. Leading

Have you ever felt a passion deep within and just knew it came from above?  With a little persistence, patience and prayer you felt God would fulfill those desires. Have you watched those same dreams crash and burn when they didn’t come to fruition?

For an entire year, I was sure God placed a yearning in my heart He intended to bring to pass. I had entry after entry in my journal of “coincidences” (which I don’t believe in) happen.  I heard from other trusted Christian friends on their opinion of the situation and it paralleled with mine. I earnestly fasted, prayed and read the word.  I had done everything I knew to do to make sure my feelings were aligned with God’s will and that I heard from Him and not just my own longings.

But, I didn’t end up with what I prayed for.  How could I have been so wrong about something which felt so right? Reflecting back, it could have been either of the following:

• God used this particular circumstance to draw me into a deeper walk with Him.  I was in such need of clarity and direction that I literally cried out to Him time after time.  In so doing, it revealed His sufficiency in my shakiness and also strengthened my spiritual muscles.
•  As real as the Lord is, so is the enemy.  Satan knows our frail and vulnerable areas and will use every tactic to create idols and distract us from God.  My own cravings became so strong that I fed them which caused discernment to weaken. We must feast on more of the peace that comes from God while we starve the disorder from the devil.

Intuition, hunches and feelings are all good things that God has gifted us with.  They can be used to guide us on the right course. However, if we let them control our every move without solid leading from the Holy Spirit, it will deviate us from where He truly wants to take us and confusion will follow. Those who walk in wisdom will be delivered. (Proverbs 28:26)

God doesn’t withhold from His children who walk uprightly unless it is to bring something better and more glorifying to Him. (Ps. 84:11) God’s denial is the door to our destiny.

In hindsight, I now see how that long and painful season produced much growth and built my character. The Lord wants us all to become more Christ like and oftentimes that means swimming upstream through the waters of uncertainty.  He asked me a question that will ring true for all of us in any and every circumstance: “Whether you receive a yes or no to your prayer, will you continue to trust me?”

Not only did I learn such an invaluable lesson on faith, but, in all His goodness and true to His word, God delivered so much more than I could have asked for or imagined. (Ephesians 3:20) And, I can honestly say now, it was all worth it.

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me life and for knowing what is best long before I do. Forgive me when I doubt and question your good and perfect will. Help me to trust in you and contain my own feelings as I submit to your leading.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Deep Waters

Rain continued to fall from the heavens a few days ago. One day turned to two and then three. Horrific pictures were broadcast on television of people who had to evacuate the comfort of their homes due to an unwelcomed invader.  As of today, nineteen people have lost their lives from a natural resource that is beneficial and ironically needed for our survival-water.  

Water is such a magnificent necessity. It quenches our thirst, cleanses our bodies and nourishes crops. It provides countless hours of free entertainment while we vacation at the beach.  However, the only way this water is favorable for us is when it’s in moderation and controlled. This same water that has many valuable uses is also powerful enough to destroy what we work all of our lives for, in an instant!

“Mommy, God promised He wouldn’t destroy the earth with a flood ever again, so, why is it flooding?” is what my ten year old asked me as we watched the news together. I tried to explain the best I know how and the only way any of this tragedy makes any sense, if it does at all. “Bad things will always happen on this side of eternity but God has always and will always be in control” was the easiest way I could explain it to my son so he would understand.

When devastating disasters strike, debris and disarray aren’t its only leftovers.  What remains are confusing questions with, oftentimes, little to no answers.

Why would God allow such a thing to happen?

Does God not care?

Where was God in this or does He even exist?

As a result of living in a fallen, corrupt world, we will endure sorrow and suffering and strife.  John 16:33 even says “In this world you will have trouble.” It may come financially, relationally or in this case, catastrophically. However, the hope comes in the second sentence which says: “But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

God, who created the world and everything in it has also overcome it! He summons the sun to stand still and commands the earth to orbit.  He orders a boundary for the ocean to stop. He administers air in our lungs and provides blood to pump to our hearts. He is the God who was, is and is to come.  He is supreme over every moving and living thing on this planet.  There is nothing that can happen without first being passed through His hands.

So, why did South Carolina endure such devastation? No one knows the answer. But, what we have seen are people coming together to be the hands and feet of Jesus. We’ve glorified God in the midst and have clung to Him as our hope for a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. (Hebrews 6:19) A good reminder, in all times, but, especially now is God loves us and is for us.  When the storms of life come and we go through deep waters, He is with us. When we pass through rivers of difficulty they won’t sweep over us if we allow the Lord, our living water, to flood us with the only hope, rest and peace we can truly have-Himself. (Isaiah 43:2)

Controlling the Clatter

With all my recently found recipes on Pinterest, I was sure I needed a new set of pots and pans.  I had been in a funk and this would surely lift my spirits. I made my way to the cookware and stood in the middle of the aisle.  By all outward appearances, I must've looked like any other shopper.  Inside, however, a war had been waged for days in my psyche between God's truths and Satan's lies.

"Oh no! Not again," I thought.  I had come to this store to escape those voices of deceit so why were they following me? As I looked around, I hoped I hadn't said what I thought out loud.  God knows I already felt half crazy but for someone else to think I was might do damage to my self esteem.  Not to mention, it would ruin my day should some friendly men in white coats come in to take me away. 

I made my way to the car and sat there as I went over the lies that were clinging and clanging together and had threatened to overpower what I knew was true:

"This isn't going to work."
"Your not good enough."
"She's Godlier than you."

Why is it that we, as Christians who know God's word, constantly fight to believe it? Because, the mind is the battlefield. The enemy will attack in every weak area to take our eyes off Jesus and stop any good work we do for Him. That's why it is so important to always be on guard, stand firm and control the clatter that sooner or later will crash in our head.

So, what do we do when those ideations invade our intellect? We think about what is honorable, pure and praiseworthy. (Phillipians 4:8) We renew our minds by storing up God's word in our hearts. (Ps. 119:11) We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:4-5)

Later that night, I wondered why I had gone to a store to try and cheer myself up? So, I did what I should've done and knew to do all along. I took some time to be still with God and study His word.  I recollected all the prayers He'd answered and marveled at how gracious and loving He is that He loves me, this doubting, undeserved sinner. Wouldn't you know, the next morning, I awoke with a peace, joy and contentment that no pot, no matter how shiny can offer.  And, I heard Him say:

"It will work because I have willed it"
"You are enough because you are mine"
"You are Godly because as you seek me, I will make you more like me"

Dear Lord,
Thank you for being a patient father who fights for me.  You are everything that is true and right.  I'm sorry when I doubt you and do everything but turn to you. Help me to stand strong against the enemy's tactics by hiding your word in my heart and taking every thought captive. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

 

The One

The door of my heart was open to everyone but you. Freely giving pieces of myself until pain and emptiness grew.

You, the One that could fill every hollow space. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll wait.”

As my car careened you charged your angels to intervene. Thankful for a moment but I quickly forgot, it was you who saved me from that dark spot.

You, the One who rescued me and gave me life. I rejected again. Your response: “I’ll give her time.”

Sunday mornings spent in bed from a late night that left me with an aching head.

You, who whispered I love you anyway. I rejected again. Your response: “It doesn’t matter what you say.”

Crying babies. Sleepless nights. Toxic relationships with too many fights.

You, the One who makes all things new. I rejected again. Your response: “I’m not through.”

Broken and lost, tired of running. I lifted my eyes to see You, the One most stunning.

You, the living water who refreshes souls, lowered your hand to pick me up. I welcomed you and you filled my cup.

Who am I that you’d want me after all I’d done? Your response: “You are my masterpiece and my chosen one.”

What Would Jesus Do?

A comb hadn’t touched his hair for days. Or so it seemed. It appeared he had been wearing the same clothes for weeks. As my car pulled closer, I glanced at this stranger who held a sign and I kept going.  My ten year old son said “Mom, he needs help.” I responded “I don’t have any money.”

This event began a discussion with my son that has impacted not only him but me.  He went on to tell me that though we didn’t have money, we could still give him something.  Then he asked the question that caused my head to hang in shame and I was instantly convicted.  He asked “What would Jesus do?”

In the book of Matthew, Jesus says that whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me. (Matt. 25: 40-45)

How many times have we prayed to be the hands and feet of Jesus and yet, when given an opportunity, we let it pass us by?

This wanderer’s face has replayed in my mind as I think about how I completely ignored him. I justified it by telling myself he was probably a swindler and couldn’t be trusted.  The truth is there are  many people in this world who are dishonest and making a living off of it.  But, can’t we still be generous and show love in other ways than giving money? Can’t we tell of the good news that God loves them and offer a warm meal?

I’ve heard it said that we’re all just one paycheck away from homelessness.  If this is true, the next person on the street could one day be me or you.

How many times have we overlooked the needy trying to fulfill our own “needs”? I have more times than I can count. My selfishness will cause me to have tunnel vision where my only focus is my own desires.  We want to be showered with blessings without being inconvenienced.  When all the while, the greatest blessings come when we bless others.

My family has learned a valuable lesson from this man.  One he will never know he taught us. He’s given more to us than we did to him. As we encounter people who seem to be less fortunate, let’s show them kindness and spread God’s love. Let’s step out of our own comfort zones to help bring comfort to others. After all, isn’t that what Jesus would do?

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for the gift of this life.  Thank you for the privileges we are given that we take for granted.  Open our eyes to the people who are hurting and need you.  Help us not to pass the buck but to embrace every opportunity you give us to be your hands and feet.  Forgive us for our selfishness and help us to be more like you.  Break our heart for what breaks yours.  In Jesus' name, Amen. 

I AM!

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, "who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty." - Revelation 1:8 (NIV)

I AM the Alpha.

I AM the salt of the earth. I AM the salt in your tears.

I AM in the beating of heavy rains. I AM in every beat of your heart.

I AM the rock upon which you stand. I AM your shield from rocks thrown from your enemies.

I AM in the swirling winds of the sea. I AM in every swirl of your fingerprints. 

I AM with you in the silence. I AM with you in the noise.

I AM pleased to see the fruit of your labor. I AM the fruit that gives you nourishment.

I AM on the wings of soaring eagles. I AM the wings that shelter you from the storm.

I AM with the soldier whose soles of their feet enter dangerous ground. I AM crying out for the lost souls to return to me.

I AM the warmth from the sun on a summer's day. I AM the SON who died to give you life.

I AM your first breath. I AM your last.

I AM the Omega.

From dust to dust, I AM!

What May Come?

There’s a monster in our house.  That’s right-a big, ferocious tickle monster that comes out daily.  He seems to make his way to both of my children, upon request. The laughter that echoes out of their mouths will light up a room with joy.

How ridiculous would it be if I told my kids I couldn’t tickle them because when they move, they could bump their heads on something and get hurt? Pretty silly idea, right? So many intoxicating, playful times would be lost all for what could happen.

Life is filled with great moments like that. The kind that bring delight and pleasure. Sometimes, their short lived and others last much longer than we expect.  But, with those, also come the trials and heartache.  As we age, we witness more blows so we come to expect the bad will always follow the good. As a result, even when things are going smoothly, we will hold our breath and wait for the other shoe to drop.

Why do we let the good things in our lives be overshadowed by fear of what may come?

When opportunity presents itself, it’s easy for us to ask the what if questions:

What if I give my heart away and it ends in heartbreak?

What if I pursue my dream and it crashes and burns?

What if I pitch an idea, apply for college or ask someone out on a date and I’m rejected?

If we are worried about what will happen in the future, we can miss all the great things that happen in the present.  To worry is to have fear and I’ve heard it said there are 365 fear nots in the Bible. One for every day of the year.  God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love. (2 Timothy 1:7) Can any one of us by worrying add a single hour to our lives? (Matthew 6:27)

The better question to ask ourselves is “what happens if we don’t open our hearts, chase our dreams and risk rejection?” Then we will never know what it means to step out in faith. The tickled pink feeling of new love. The gratifying sense of accomplishment knowing we tried.

There are countless stories in the Bible of ordinary people, like us, who, through their fears and doubt, trusted God and took a chance.  In turn, we are still reading about those very people today. Can you imagine what it must’ve been like for Moses, who didn’t think he could, to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land? He had no idea what awaited them in the future and yet, he did it anyway.

God wants us to live faith filled lives as we trust Him with every part of it. He wants to richly bless us with our hearts desires and watch our wildest dreams come true. Does that mean we always get what we set out for? No. Sometimes He says yes and sometimes no.  But “The rewards of the journey far outweigh the risk of leaving the harbor.” (Author unknown)